There wasn’t a checkbox on my to-do list for “fun” now that my kids were older. Fun felt frivolous, indulgent, and a distraction from being productive rather than a necessary ingredient to provide balance, energy, and joy. Read that again … fun is a necessary ingredient to provide balance, energy, and joy.
Read MoreWhen writing about your adventures in online dating, at some point you have to stop procrastinating and go on an actual date. Lord knows I had been tippy-toeing around this whole dating thing for long enough. Since I had already crafted my profile, paid for membership, and told my friends I was finally doing this, the time had finally come to go on an actual date.
Read MoreI have to admit that it is possible that I have not maximized my eHarmony experience yet. I am not willing to make this a full time job, which evidently some people do. I honestly spend about 20 minutes or so a day maximum, and some days much less than that, so I might have unrealistic expectations about what is a reasonable return on my time investment.
I read an article that said there are over 1500 online dating sites in the US. Holy cow... Seriously?! I wanted the “right answer” to be clear. It wasn’t. I was just going to have to pick a platform and trust myself to figure it out.
Read MoreWhen re-doing an older home, you have to peel back lots of layers in order to get to what you really want to work with. With hard work, a little vision, and some courage, you can create something special. By the time we get to a midlife divorce, I think each of us is that older home in some way, shape, or form.
Read MoreI’m not some salesy marketing exec who knows just how to write something catchy that will go viral with their target market. I’m not completely comfortable selling myself, and isn’t that what a profile is meant to do? And omg, how am I supposed to write something that connects with my target audience when I’m not even sure how to realistically define my target audience? This is so outside my comfort zone.
In the years since my divorce, I have had many reasons not to try online dating. Let’s be honest. The hard truth is that I really hoped that I wouldn’t have to. I hoped that meeting eligible guys would happen naturally and I wouldn’t be required to get so far outside my comfort zone, but guys that are a good fit for me are not going to just show up at my door.
Read MoreI now find myself metaphorically standing at the edge of the diving board, wanting to confidently jump into online dating with poise and skill, but facing the same old fear and anxiety that haunted me as a child at the swimming pool.
Read MoreMy still-married friends have been a lifeline of encouragement, but because they have not walked in my shoes, most of them have not been able to offer much in the way of helpful advice or empowering post-divorce success stories. They haven’t been where I am, and may never have to go where I am going.
Read MoreEven if you have always enjoyed planning and hosting gatherings, bringing friends together post-divorce can be harder than expected because it requires re-imagining and adapting things to suit new circumstances. Now that you’re no longer a couple, your social circle has to adjust, too. And let’s face it, change is hard for everyone – even for your friends.
Read MoreI confess there was a time that I did not give people the grace they deserved when they claimed to be taking time to “find themselves.” It just made no sense to me. I mean, I could find them, so how hard could it be for them to find themselves?? No need to disappear down some rabbit hole when they could just scroll through their own selfies for pretty solid evidence. Alternatively, I could save them some time and spare us all a little drama by just telling them who I thought they were, myself.
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